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Need feedback on copy

Google Employee
# 1
Google Employee

Back again. Just started working with a few folks on some new copy for our business site.


We want to create copy that speaks to a small business owner's objectives.... So take a look at the copy below and tell us how you would talk about Adwords to a small business owner. Note: We have to get our thoughts across in 200 words or so.




The copy below focuses on the desire business owners have to "Get More Sales."


Get more sales.

According to a recent study, almost 90% of people research their purchases online. Make it easy for those people to find your business when they’re ready to  buy.

Placing an ad on Google lets you connect customers to the exact product they’re looking for. For example, if you sell electronics, your business can show up when people search for items you carry like “high resolution speakers” or “split audio cables.” You can even show an ad for specific product numbers like “KVV 987 097 - EX10 250V.”

Use these tips to get more sales with AdWords:

  • In person, you can talk to a customer to learn what they need, and then hand them the exact right product. Do the same thing online by showing an ad that’s directly related to a user’s search - i.e. if they search for “good travel headphones” show an ad offering “Top noise-cancelling headphones - perfect for travel.”
  • Experiment with more ads that feature special offers - like free shipping - or highlight your best-selling products.
  • You can change your ad text anytime, so if you get a new shipment – or run out – of a hot item, update or pause your ads immediately.

... or for more ways to use Adwords..

Want to give customers a shortcut to the pages on your site that lead to the most sales? Sitelinks ad extensions let you display up to 4 links to popular pages. (and then we would link users to this information)

Best of all, it’s easy to set up – just add them on your campaign’s settings page.

1 Expert replyverified_user

Re: Need feedback on copy

Badged Google Partner
# 2
Badged Google Partner

Ah, CMS. 


Not necessarily adwords, but there are certainly options available for further education on the topic. Smiley Happy


Remember - Every query is an attempt to solve a problem. All of communication is an attempt to pursuade.


Try to tell a story instead of making a sales pitch. What is an example of a business in your target market that used adwords to solve a problem that they were having, and how did you go about solving that problem for your client?


Every business owner wants to get more sales, just like every basketball player or franchise wants to win a championship. Smiley Happy What strikes a chord with people are the personal stories of a Michael Jordan or Bill Russel. (You have seen the "flu game" commercials on the tv right?) Most (small) business owners just do not care about any specific feature of adwords. Many of our clients struggle to know the difference between SEO and SEM, let alone the difference in Yelp, Angie's List, and Google. Smiley Happy

People buy from people they know, so how can you help to pursuade a potential client - To make them feel like they know you? The specifics of tactics and strategy are much further down the sales funnel. How do you get the initial engagement to move the user through the funnel? Speak to them personally, and tell your story. (We need a better story, but here is a short example)